{"id":875,"date":"2018-04-13T12:00:13","date_gmt":"2018-04-13T16:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cpointelc.com\/?p=875"},"modified":"2018-04-13T12:01:07","modified_gmt":"2018-04-13T16:01:07","slug":"5-ways-to-switch-to-positive-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cpointelc.com\/5-ways-to-switch-to-positive-language\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Switch to Positive Language"},"content":{"rendered":"

As parents, our words have the power to shape our children\u2019s thinking and thus shape how they behave and who they become. Children are watching and learning from every move we make \u2013 our language included. Using negative language can cause children to think less of themselves and what they are capable of. In order to promote children\u2019s self-worth and confidence, here are five ways to switch to positive language.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Change Orders to Encouragement & Offer Solutions<\/h4>\n

Telling kids to stop doing something doesn\u2019t offer them a solution to their behavior, which can be discouraging and confusing. Instead of commanding, turn orders around into a suggestion or polite request. That way, the child can take ownership of their actions and find healthy, acceptable alternatives to their actions.<\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong> Instead of saying \u201cDon\u2019t run!\u201d or \u201cLeave your sister alone,\u201d try saying, \u201cWalk, please,\u201d and, \u201cHow about we come over here and play?\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Be a \u201cYes\u201d Mommy and Daddy<\/h4>\n

When we hear the word \u201cno\u201d all the time, we tend to train our brains into believing that asking questions for what we want or what we want to know is insignificant. Of course, this doesn\u2019t mean you need to agree to every one of your child\u2019s whims. If your child asks you a question and you want to tell them \u201cno,\u201d find a different way to answer that uses a form of \u201cyes\u201d or using the \u201cIf\/When… Then\u201d strategy.<\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong> When playtime is over and your child tells you, \u201cI want to keep playing,\u201d respond by telling them, \u201cIF you come and eat dinner now, THEN we can play more tomorrow!\u201d<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Stop Being Judgmental<\/h4>\n

When we are always being told not to do something or that we\u2019re not doing something right, we can grow into feeling as if we can never do anything right. When you reprimand your child using the word \u201cyou,\u201d it comes off as accusing and makes our child feel inferior. Try switching out the accusing \u201cyou\u201d for \u201cwe\u201d or \u201cI.\u201d<\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong> Instead of yelling about a messy room, try saying, \u201cWe should clean up our room so that we can have sweet dreams,\u201d or, \u201cI would love to see this room cleaned up for sleep time!\u201d (Kids have a complex for wanting to please us!<\/em>)<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Provide Incentives over Punishments<\/h4>\n

Rather than threatening punishments for bad behavior, try offering rewards for good behavior! This tip might come off as a bit of a persuasion tactic and make you feel like a bit of a schemer, but it allows our child to have a focus on the positive and look forward to something instead of living in a negative mindset and feeling like they\u2019re losing something.<\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong> Try saying, \u201cThe more times your room is clean, the more time we will have to go to the park this weekend,\u201d rather than, \u201cClean your room or else I will take away all of your toys!\u201d<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0Always Practice Manners<\/h4>\n

Manners go a long way and help in developing the character and integrity of our children. Stick with the basics and make a point not to take any action without them. This will drill manners in as an automatic habit. \u201cPlease\u201d and \u201cthank you\u201d should always be said from your child for any reason at all. Also, model that same behavior for your child and always be saying it as well.<\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong> Use classic prompting such as, \u201cWhat do we say?\u201d to remind your children to use \u201cplease\u201d and \u201cthank you\u201d in the appropriate situations.<\/p>\n

There are many strategies for improving how we talk and communicate with our children. If we make an effort to take baby steps towards more positive language, the deeper rooted impact that occurs will teach them more than rules and harsh punishment will ever teach.<\/p>\n

Learn More About the Impact of Negative Language on Children:<\/h4>\n